10 BAD Confirmations about Christian Patriarchy from Jim Bob Duggar

How Fundies Bury the Lede and Hide Results Behind Shiny Ideals

The Duggar family didn’t watch TV. Neither did most IBLP (Bill Gothard’s Institute of Basic Life Principles.) In fact, in our brand of Christian fundamentalism, we believed TV was a portal the Devil used to spread evil into America’s homes. We protected our children from access and heavily controlled “the boob tube.”

For a few years in recovery, I thought our old superstition about TV was ridiculous—television is a technology used to spread entertainment, ideas, and information. But the more I work with survivors of religious trauma, and our brand of Christian fundamentalism specifically, the more I realize they were right. TV was used to spread evil in America’s homes: the evil of their own fundamentalist abuse.

Television reaches a wide audience. Which is why Jim Bob wanted to use it, pursuing a lucrative deal with TLC. He called it evangelism. A close read of his daughter’s memoir might rename it (more correctly) ego. 19 Kids and Counting episodes averaged 2.3 million viewers, while a wedding episode could reach a record-breaking 4.4 million. He said he wanted to reach as many viewers as possible for Jesus. What he portrayed instead was a fundamentalist lifestyle that sheltered and masked abuses.

Still, Jim Bob taught us a lot about the Christian Patriarchy. There were the overt lessons shared in interstitial clips on the show, the covert lessons survivors recognize beneath the surface, and the national headlines that portray the fruit of fundamentalism. Here are a few key take-aways.

1. Patriarchy uses brand marketing

If you don’t like one flavor, there’s another one you could follow. While Michael Pearl is a grizzly disciplinarian and James Dobson is a velvet-voiced counselor, Jim Bob chose “Pops,” as his brand, the goofy, somewhat awkward, warm and fuzzy family man. In Shiny Happy People, Jim Bob’s character as a beloved oaf is explored a little further, because it was the non-threatening posture he used that allowed his strict legalism and bully tactics behind the scenes to thrive.

2. Repeating shame narratives creates a parrot

How many times have you heard Jim Bob shame Michelle for the “baggage” she brought to their relationship, from her years as a teenage cheerleader? Michelle has heard it so often that she parrots back the same narrative. It’s an example of how shame works in the IBLP—controlling the narrative and then repeating it over and over and over—so that the script is more powerful than the memory itself. But how much baggage was it? And was the baggage from the relationships…or the judgement she met from Jim Bob? What we know is that a developmentally-appropriate teenage crush has become the motivator for courtship style arranged marriages; the high-control practice meant to “save” their children from similar burdens, while denying them their own autonomy.

3. Dissention in families is “very sad.” So is getting caught. The offense? Not so much

When Jill Duggar’s book came out, Jim Bob’s response was that he was “very sad” about her choice to speak out. This was after years of attempts to reach him in other, more personal and private, ways. When Shiny Happy People was released, the Duggars issued a statement about the exposure. “This “documentary” paints so much and so many in a derogatory and sensationalized way because sadly that’s the direction of entertainment these days.” The direction of entertainment. Not extreme discipline, sheltered sexual abuse, labor exploitation, robbing your own children’s paychecks….. patriarchs feel entitled to their privacy, especially when they’ve done something wrong.

4. To avoid paying children for their work, charge them the cost of their upbringing

TLC apparently expected the cast of the show would receive their paychecks. The IRS expected it too, because tax statements were prepared reporting each cast member received an income. But Jim Bob pocketed those paychecks. Patriarchs have rights, after all. A handy way to off-set payday was to itemize the cost of raising them (even though their much of their food and shelter was paid for through donations and the show.) Jim Bob deals in used cars, commercial rentals, and child labor. Doug Wilson, another brand of patriarch, calls this a “fiefdom,” the property owned by a lord, and an area of authority and influence.

5. Audacity without accountability is essential

Jim Bob was so sure he had a tight grip on his children’s behavior that he knew he could invite camera crews into his home and even the babies wouldn’t crack. Another bold risk was to tout his parenting methods while sheltering a known pedophile at the expense of his own daughters. Audacity is the willingness to take bold risks and JB has it in spades. Pair that with the lack of accountability in Christian Patriarchy and it’s a winning recipe to successfully dominate the environment.

6. It’s better business to say “God blessed us” instead of crediting sources

TLC paid for the big house and the grocery runs to Aldi. Quiverfull families often grift for donations from church members and extended families. The Duggars received free vacations, diapers, appliances and more. But Gothard teaches followers to deflect praise—and one of the ways to do it is to not offer it either. Don’t praise TLC. Praise God instead. Say God worked through TLC. Nevermind all the contract negotiations between humans along the way. If Grandma delivers groceries, it isn’t Grandma you should thank, but God. It looks better that way to lost people.

7. If you tell viewers what they’re watching, they might forget how they feel about what they’re seeing

There’s a scene on a putt-putt golf course where Jim Bob comes up behind Michelle and starts dry humping her. It’s incredibly awkward to watch but the narration explains the Duggars think it’s important for children to see their parents love each other. Michelle looks embarrassed but laughs. The courtship daters with them do as well. The cringey scene is a microcosm of the entire show: tell viewers what they see is wholesome and they might forget how uncomfortable they feel when they see the children’s dead eyed expressions and robotic behavior. They might forget their instincts tell them something is off with this show, and that 19 children can’t possibly behave that way without extreme measures.

8. Boys are better than girls

There’s a brutal scene in Jill’s book where she resists Jim Bob’s domineering anger by exclaiming he cares more for her pedophile brother than his own daughter. Parrot Michelle wrote to the judge in Josh’s case that, “Joshua has always been a positive and upbeat person. He is wise financially — saving money for the future and purposing not to go into debt. He is a good provider for his family, working diligently and thinking of creative ways to support and care of his wife and children.” To live in patriarchy is to know that boys carry more value than girls, and Jim Bob regularly confirms this. Josh’s pedophelia was not as important as his ability to save money. The girls value is way below that.

9. Without women, there’s not much to see

The women carried the Duggar franchise. Even though it was called “Pop’s show” by the family, viewers came to watch Michelle cook for 20, have more babies, and to see the girls court, side-hug, marry, and deliver the next Quiverful generation. Based on survivor stories and the fundie snark and fan information, women also were the primary viewership. Which brings up an important point in patriarchal evangelism, whether it’s on TV or through Instagram influce: patriarchs recruit women by using our own stories and issues to lure in our attention. Men are recruited using entirely different techniques. Patriarchy amplify women when it suits their purposes.

10. Someone made Josh

“People look at Josh Duggar and they see a monster. But monsters are created.” - Tara Oathout on Shiny Happy People. Josh had already molested the girls, been caught, and sent to a work program when the first Duggar special aired. So to consider who formed Josh Duggar, it’s important to examine the patriarch and environment he was raised in before fame. Here are some statistics:

• 1 out of every 6 boys is sexually abused

• More than 90% of abusers are people children know, love and trust

• 30-40% of victims are abused by a family member

• Over 75% of serial rapists report they were sexually abused as youngsters

I guess there’s one more lesson about patriarchy Jim Bob lesson demonstrates: you can get away with a lot, if you can keep your kids quiet and the paperwork out of sight. Of course, that’s getting more difficult for the patriarchy, now that survivors are starting to have their say. And that’s the other thing about TV and technology—it really does reach a lot of people. Those viewers are mighty curious about the reality behind his so-called reality TV.