Going No Contact with Family

Taking a second look at toxic family dynamics after religious trauma and how to handle estrangement

I was thinking the other day about the internet and how, especially on social media, we have these wide-sweeping cultural conversations that swing wildly one way and then wildly the other. Or, maybe sometimes the conversation doesn’t swing one way first. Instead, it reveals itself within a position, and we collectively (but not simultaneously) awaken to the realization of it, triggering layers of awareness that shift the conversation, rather than cause it to swing. The change is more round than linear as we try on various viewpoints for size, or react too hard in the other direction, but the movement only occurs because we’re actively talking, developing language, and turning ideas over in our minds. What if I look at it this way? What if I broaden the view?

I imagine many of the psychological topics qualify. Addiction. Faith deconstruction. Narcissistic tendencies. Body positivity. Rape culture. Political topics too. Nationalism. Fundamentalism. Theocracatic agendas.

These are very un-fundamentalist things to do: ask questions, argue, try ideas on, see if they fit, make adjustments, and modulate according to new information or insight gained.

Then I wondered if family estrangement, and the popularity of going “no contact” might be that way. The question cracked my heart a little.