The Let Them Theory for It's a Wonderful Life

Mel Robbin's new book applied to George Baileys codependence

In 2023, I got really upset about my annual favorite Christmas movie, It’s a Wonderful Life.

“I can’t believe I didn’t realize how gaslit this movie is,” I wrote. After years of watching the reminder to be grateful for feeling needed, I was suddenly angry that George’s value was found in how essential his existence was to people who relied on his self-sacrifice for survival.

For most of the movie, George reacts to fear he’ll lose someone. In each example, George prevents disaster by giving up more of himself each time.

• When a group of unsupervised children sled onto thin ice, George’s little brother fell in, and George saved his life, which cost him the ability to hear out of his left ear.

• When twelve-year-old George gets a job (before child labor laws), it’s for a pharmacist who abuses George and drunkenly fills a prescription with poison. George saves both the recipient and the pharmacist—and gets his ears boxed for his effort.

• When his father dies just as George is about to embark on his dream trip and then college, the board talks him into staying to take over his father’s legacy and save the town from the evil Potter.

• When his addled uncle loses a pile of money, George assumes responsibility for keeping him from prison.

• When he tries to commit suicide, his guardian angel jumps in to prompt George to save him and then convinces George to help him get his wings.

George can’t even die to get out of helping people. He’s increasingly exhausted and consumed, and he’s also shamed for feeling sad about that.

The big lesson— that consumption is better than not existing because look at all the bad things that happened without you (Harry dies, Mr. Gowan kills, Bedford Falls becomes Potters Town, Uncle Billy goes to an asylum, his wife ends up an old maid) and in the end, the town shows up because actually, they’re thankful—landed askew with me.