Please!!!! I feel like there is no safe space for me to talk about my fears and worries. 90% of the people around me keep moving forward as if nothing is happening and I’m just flabbergasted.
I love your take on not necessarily merging back onto the highway but strolling with friends on the grassy banks. The pull is SO strong though. The fear and dismay is overwhelming. Thanks for verbalizing the need to respect our bandwidths while at the same time not burying our heads in the sand.
Oh, Tia... even though there aren't any words to "fix" this, I can send words of encouragement. Step away, breathe, regenerate your soul. I use sleep, cuddling my 13 y/o "kitten", and reading as a coping skill. Therapy rocks, too.
The older I get, the more I realize that my extroverted personality, the way people regenerate me, and as much as I love spending time with those I love, there's a thin veneer of introversion there which gets thicker with time. Now, it's the time spent alone with my thoughts is what strengthens me. I wish this for you, too, with all my heart.
Rest your soul, dear Tia.
I can't begin to tell you how purity culture, performance-based religion and the like left scars that may always be there, but because of you and others like you, I'm beginning to think that they are badges of honor. Thank you for speaking for those who have no voice. Much love.
Thank you so much Tia! I came from a sexist home. My mother was taught to be subservient and could not stand up to my father. She was unhappily married but had no life skills and no family money. She was trapped in an unhappy marriage. It had nothing to do with religion. She was taught that men were superior to woman. She was expected to marry and have children--not to attend college or have skills that could make her independent. This was generational. My grandmother, her mother, etc. Women were expected to stay home, cook, clean and have children. there were no other options. Yet my mom was brilliant. She read to us. We were reading classics when were were very young. We had books in our bookcases. And she encouraged us to visit the library constantly. She knew opera, artists, authors, ballet. She took me to The Art Institute of Chicago. She knew history. She saved only one record from her home. It was the tenor Enrico Caruso. She painted beautifully, but gave up on her artistic life after being trapped in an unhappy marriage. How could she support herself and two children? As we got older my brother and sister-in-law who receive her PhD in psychology. For thirty-five years, I was a writing therapist at St. Francis Hospital in Evanston, Illinois. I have published three poetry books. Now, I am teaching immigrants Literacy. My mother married the first man that she dated. He was outgoing and handsome but had nothing in common. He disliked artists and intellectuals. I finally met my wonderful husband who was a professor at Northwestern University. But I kept my own name and did not want any children because I chose a career. Many famous women writers like Amy Tan, Margaret Atwood and Joyce Carol Oates have and had wonderful husbands but no children. My brother has one child even though they both work. He cooks half of week and helped with child care. His son is happily married and they have only one child so that they can both work. He cooks and helps with everything in the house as well as childcare. But their daughter in now at a university. Where was Shakespeare's sister? When I worked as a picture editor for four years at the The Art Institute of Chicago in my twenties making such a low salary compared to men who make higher salaries than most women in this country--women's profession such as teachers, social workers, the helping professions pay low because they are women's professions. I was able to pay for my apartment, clothes and food, etc. But i was always living paycheck to paycheck. All the artwork at The Art Institute was painted by men except of Mary Cassatt. I donate to The Women's Art Museum in Washington, DC. My mother could have been one of those artists. My husband made much more money than I did. Who can afford more than one child today? Girls need the education to get a better quality of life! I belong the international women, Pan Pacific Southeast Asian Women's Association, an NGO of The United Nations that helps girls from undeveloped countries to receive a high school and college education so that they will have careers and will be able to leave an unhealthy marriage. We also donate to The Battered Women's Shelter. Patriarchy is not always connected to religion. My parents were not religious. I am more Buddhist and I attended the Bahai Temple with my husband even though my family is Jewish. His family was Congregational but he did not believe in any dogma. Dogma can be scary in any religion. I am very spiritual but I just believe in one God. Sadly, after 36 years of marriage, my husband passed away in 2019 Thank you for that wonderful book. With admiration, Jerilyn Elise Miripol/Wilmette, Illinois.
Yes, not really satire, just a POV from writers who saw outrageous, unbelievable behavior from people whose testimony didn't meet what most people understand to be living like Christ taught. I finally saw that the emperor had no clothes and began my own journey. Still on it. Thanks for the reminder about testimony.
Thanks, Tia! Your testimony counts for a lot. I had never heard of Billingsly, but I had heard of the Gathers and a few other promoters of fundamentalism through their music. We quit watching the Righteous Gemstones for the reason you seem to share here. Despite its satirical take, it was too much for both of us. For Sherry, it was reliving that story, and for me, it was the damage fundamentalism did to me in ministry. I'm going to write about arrogance this week: The arrogance of religious leaders that led to the Cross.
Tia, we are here with you and you are not alone. Thank you for having the courage to share your story, to speak honestly about the difficult times we find ourselves in and for creating this safe space for us to connect with you.
My husband and I spent Easter weekend with family and the only person we could speak openly with about our concerns and fears was my father-in-love. Every one else prefers to act as though it's life as usual here in America and we know it is not. We've been told on so many occasions that we are overreacting, it's sickening. It brings me hope and solace to know other people see the current state of our nation for what it is, a crisis.
I appreciate your words and your work! Grassy bank walks works for me. Hugs.
Please!!!! I feel like there is no safe space for me to talk about my fears and worries. 90% of the people around me keep moving forward as if nothing is happening and I’m just flabbergasted.
I love your take on not necessarily merging back onto the highway but strolling with friends on the grassy banks. The pull is SO strong though. The fear and dismay is overwhelming. Thanks for verbalizing the need to respect our bandwidths while at the same time not burying our heads in the sand.
Oh, Tia... even though there aren't any words to "fix" this, I can send words of encouragement. Step away, breathe, regenerate your soul. I use sleep, cuddling my 13 y/o "kitten", and reading as a coping skill. Therapy rocks, too.
The older I get, the more I realize that my extroverted personality, the way people regenerate me, and as much as I love spending time with those I love, there's a thin veneer of introversion there which gets thicker with time. Now, it's the time spent alone with my thoughts is what strengthens me. I wish this for you, too, with all my heart.
Rest your soul, dear Tia.
I can't begin to tell you how purity culture, performance-based religion and the like left scars that may always be there, but because of you and others like you, I'm beginning to think that they are badges of honor. Thank you for speaking for those who have no voice. Much love.
Thank you so much Tia! I came from a sexist home. My mother was taught to be subservient and could not stand up to my father. She was unhappily married but had no life skills and no family money. She was trapped in an unhappy marriage. It had nothing to do with religion. She was taught that men were superior to woman. She was expected to marry and have children--not to attend college or have skills that could make her independent. This was generational. My grandmother, her mother, etc. Women were expected to stay home, cook, clean and have children. there were no other options. Yet my mom was brilliant. She read to us. We were reading classics when were were very young. We had books in our bookcases. And she encouraged us to visit the library constantly. She knew opera, artists, authors, ballet. She took me to The Art Institute of Chicago. She knew history. She saved only one record from her home. It was the tenor Enrico Caruso. She painted beautifully, but gave up on her artistic life after being trapped in an unhappy marriage. How could she support herself and two children? As we got older my brother and sister-in-law who receive her PhD in psychology. For thirty-five years, I was a writing therapist at St. Francis Hospital in Evanston, Illinois. I have published three poetry books. Now, I am teaching immigrants Literacy. My mother married the first man that she dated. He was outgoing and handsome but had nothing in common. He disliked artists and intellectuals. I finally met my wonderful husband who was a professor at Northwestern University. But I kept my own name and did not want any children because I chose a career. Many famous women writers like Amy Tan, Margaret Atwood and Joyce Carol Oates have and had wonderful husbands but no children. My brother has one child even though they both work. He cooks half of week and helped with child care. His son is happily married and they have only one child so that they can both work. He cooks and helps with everything in the house as well as childcare. But their daughter in now at a university. Where was Shakespeare's sister? When I worked as a picture editor for four years at the The Art Institute of Chicago in my twenties making such a low salary compared to men who make higher salaries than most women in this country--women's profession such as teachers, social workers, the helping professions pay low because they are women's professions. I was able to pay for my apartment, clothes and food, etc. But i was always living paycheck to paycheck. All the artwork at The Art Institute was painted by men except of Mary Cassatt. I donate to The Women's Art Museum in Washington, DC. My mother could have been one of those artists. My husband made much more money than I did. Who can afford more than one child today? Girls need the education to get a better quality of life! I belong the international women, Pan Pacific Southeast Asian Women's Association, an NGO of The United Nations that helps girls from undeveloped countries to receive a high school and college education so that they will have careers and will be able to leave an unhealthy marriage. We also donate to The Battered Women's Shelter. Patriarchy is not always connected to religion. My parents were not religious. I am more Buddhist and I attended the Bahai Temple with my husband even though my family is Jewish. His family was Congregational but he did not believe in any dogma. Dogma can be scary in any religion. I am very spiritual but I just believe in one God. Sadly, after 36 years of marriage, my husband passed away in 2019 Thank you for that wonderful book. With admiration, Jerilyn Elise Miripol/Wilmette, Illinois.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and for sharing your story here.
Yes, not really satire, just a POV from writers who saw outrageous, unbelievable behavior from people whose testimony didn't meet what most people understand to be living like Christ taught. I finally saw that the emperor had no clothes and began my own journey. Still on it. Thanks for the reminder about testimony.
Thanks, Tia! Your testimony counts for a lot. I had never heard of Billingsly, but I had heard of the Gathers and a few other promoters of fundamentalism through their music. We quit watching the Righteous Gemstones for the reason you seem to share here. Despite its satirical take, it was too much for both of us. For Sherry, it was reliving that story, and for me, it was the damage fundamentalism did to me in ministry. I'm going to write about arrogance this week: The arrogance of religious leaders that led to the Cross.
It’s barely satire. Sometimes it gets too cringe for me too
Tia, we are here with you and you are not alone. Thank you for having the courage to share your story, to speak honestly about the difficult times we find ourselves in and for creating this safe space for us to connect with you.
My husband and I spent Easter weekend with family and the only person we could speak openly with about our concerns and fears was my father-in-love. Every one else prefers to act as though it's life as usual here in America and we know it is not. We've been told on so many occasions that we are overreacting, it's sickening. It brings me hope and solace to know other people see the current state of our nation for what it is, a crisis.
I appreciate your words and your work! Grassy bank walks works for me. Hugs.