Ah thank you! Seeing your comment made my day. And you're so right--they didn't know each other! What a risk, to marry an attractive stranger, on the basis of shared beliefs. And this-- "Her family's future revenue depended on good matches" reminds of so many modern-day strategic courtship matches in fundamentalism.
I had to see the movie twice to get a deeper understanding of how Gerwig’s production hit the key notes of fundamentalism. Yes, we were left playing mommy to our toys. As a child I I didn’t understand how Barbie stood for being a woman unidentified with motherhood. I remember praying for Jesus to not return to earth before I was a mommy. That is how ingrained I was to motherhood and THE LADT DAYS. Which were expected any day. I didn’t like Barbie because she was a symbol of the harlot church of Babylon. Pretty heavy stuff for a 5 year old! Thank you for your newsletter and Insta posts.
What a powerful read! Wow. Tia, you named something I couldn't quite put my finger on—the way the primness of Austen's world served as a reminder of what "real chastity" and "real love" ought to be/feel like. It should be family friendly, not passionate or messy. It should be socially approved of, not scandalous. It should stay within the bounds of what the society expects. Lizzie's rejection of Mr. Collins was daring to be sure! But she did want to be married and she did feel the pressure to have a good match. She didn't simply assert that she was leaving the system to be an independent woman. Her family's future revenue depended on good matches.
The irony, of course, is that Darcy and Elizabeth really don't know each other when they do get married. They only know about each other. And that is how it was for my short courtship and marriage. Shared goals and beliefs substituted for actually knowing each other well. I believed all would be well because we were following the cultural imperatives for our community.
You just explained why every girl I knew growing up had an obsession with pride and prejudice. I read it and I’ve seen the nightly film, but it wasn’t ever my thing. I think that’s probably because I really identified with Mary when I read the book and in the film version also and I thought Lizzy was kind of a jerk honestly and so is Mr. Darcy and so I never really got the appeal and I couldn’t understand why people kept being mean to Mary when all she was trying to do was what she was supposed to, which was super relatable. Sidenote: I think Mary was autistic and didn’t realize that she was being insufferable and that is the hill I will die on. Thanks as always for writing this.
I did have a very unhealthy obsession with the Phantom of the opera and way too much sympathy for Erik so that was fun to read lol. He is pretty pathetic in the book and at least I realized as a later teenager that I apparently was drawn to helping damaged men so that’s something.
Oh wow, I did that too! Prayed for Jesus not to return until I could be a mommy. Very very heavy for a child.
Ah thank you! Seeing your comment made my day. And you're so right--they didn't know each other! What a risk, to marry an attractive stranger, on the basis of shared beliefs. And this-- "Her family's future revenue depended on good matches" reminds of so many modern-day strategic courtship matches in fundamentalism.
I had to see the movie twice to get a deeper understanding of how Gerwig’s production hit the key notes of fundamentalism. Yes, we were left playing mommy to our toys. As a child I I didn’t understand how Barbie stood for being a woman unidentified with motherhood. I remember praying for Jesus to not return to earth before I was a mommy. That is how ingrained I was to motherhood and THE LADT DAYS. Which were expected any day. I didn’t like Barbie because she was a symbol of the harlot church of Babylon. Pretty heavy stuff for a 5 year old! Thank you for your newsletter and Insta posts.
What a powerful read! Wow. Tia, you named something I couldn't quite put my finger on—the way the primness of Austen's world served as a reminder of what "real chastity" and "real love" ought to be/feel like. It should be family friendly, not passionate or messy. It should be socially approved of, not scandalous. It should stay within the bounds of what the society expects. Lizzie's rejection of Mr. Collins was daring to be sure! But she did want to be married and she did feel the pressure to have a good match. She didn't simply assert that she was leaving the system to be an independent woman. Her family's future revenue depended on good matches.
The irony, of course, is that Darcy and Elizabeth really don't know each other when they do get married. They only know about each other. And that is how it was for my short courtship and marriage. Shared goals and beliefs substituted for actually knowing each other well. I believed all would be well because we were following the cultural imperatives for our community.
Great message and so well written.
You just explained why every girl I knew growing up had an obsession with pride and prejudice. I read it and I’ve seen the nightly film, but it wasn’t ever my thing. I think that’s probably because I really identified with Mary when I read the book and in the film version also and I thought Lizzy was kind of a jerk honestly and so is Mr. Darcy and so I never really got the appeal and I couldn’t understand why people kept being mean to Mary when all she was trying to do was what she was supposed to, which was super relatable. Sidenote: I think Mary was autistic and didn’t realize that she was being insufferable and that is the hill I will die on. Thanks as always for writing this.
I did have a very unhealthy obsession with the Phantom of the opera and way too much sympathy for Erik so that was fun to read lol. He is pretty pathetic in the book and at least I realized as a later teenager that I apparently was drawn to helping damaged men so that’s something.